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Strength

 Strength , how is it measured? Is it in courage or how we handle ourselves, is it how we over come? The question is if we don’t are we victims are we weak? 


I have a health condition that is not curable that is fatal

I go to the hospital many times all night fearing for my life and go home in the morning , shower and go to work I’ve never called a day out of work, is that strength ? 

I’m so broke right now I might lose my car because work has been slow and they slighted me $800 off my check I want to give up and cry , I don’t have help , is that considered strong . 


I don’t date , or hook up I been single for 6 years trying to be as sinless as possible waiting on Jesus to bring the right man, doing life alone . Is that considered strong ?


I’ve over come more things then you can imagine I don’t feel that is  necessarily strong but I have a strong faith . 


But I’m 45 , I’m getting worried . I’m tired , I’m about to lose everything and I feel helpless. I wish I could call out sick and hide away . As you can see it’s not in my character. But I feel like I’m going to fall. 


I feel alone. So if I’m so strong that is wavering tonight. 

I can’t take one more shoe to drop. I been pushing for so long , with out a break , with out a love , with so much physical pain . Sometimes oak trees fall . 


So tonight I will say a special prayer for God to not just save me but to hold me at the cross . To come meet me where I’m at because I need a miracle right now . 


If you’re reading this I’m asking you to pray for my mental health and that God will show up for me today . 

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